My old 1996 Cadillac was acting up again. I have already spent 2000 dollars this year getting it fixed. I went to a car lot and looked at cars. I found one I wanted. ..My first car payments ever.

2006 Saturn Vue...a cross over type thing
Hubby said "Get it!".

While wating at the dealership for them to try and arrainge a loan,
my brother inlaw decided to talk to me on the phone. He is a bank person.

He said I was paying too much...my percentage rate was too high...stupid...do not bring it me to refinance, you will owe more on it than it is worth.....yadda, yadda, yadda........

I felt like an *****$$$$$$$$$$.

My happy proud moment turned into anxiety and sweating and internal pain and shortness of breath and feeling like the dumbest person in the world and stupid and vulnerable and nieve and horrid....just almost weak.

I have drove the car home for the night, not knowing if I will even be able to keep it as we have not finaced anything like that before. The bank could still say "NO".

I was so happy and so proud...I did it myself and now my brother inlaw is mad and thinks I am an idiot.

I just hate myself sometimes. I was so sure. Now I am thinking all kinds of horrible things like...we will be home less because I got this car. We will lose the car and be runined for life...panic and more panic.

Why oh why am I so stupid??????????????????????????????