I think what you're feeling right now is very common. I've been very heavy and very thin, to be honest my weight didn't affect anything other than my health. We tend to put a lot of stock in when I'm thin I'll be... happy, more outgoing, more attractive, fill in the blank.

You've worked hard and reached many milestones. The best you can do is take a breath and realize you'll get through this one as well. Good luck to you!