discussing things reasonably, responsibly, maturely is the best way Locust... i dont see where you've been unreasonable in any fashion... if anything you've gone the extra step to protect the dignity and autonomy of those you are in conflict with and your example should lead them to meet you on that level... if it does not then maybe you can tell yourself that they are just not ready or able to confront the issue in an emotionally balanced direction and you are then challenged to speak your thoughts more clearly, acceptingly, and patiently.. i will pray for understanding for all