Quote:
Originally Posted by Yesterdays
I know taking three pills every night is really not that big of a deal. But I wish I never had to take them to begin with. I had to switch anti-depressants because the pills I was taking were apparently making me tired and groggy. Now I also have pills to take when I'm feeling anxious that are supposed to make me feel 'perky' and 'happier.'
I hate it. I hate that the medicine is me now, I hate that without it I would have a different personality. I hate the voice in the back of my head that every time I smile tells me "it's because of the pills."
I don't want to stop taking them, because then I would be worse of. I just want to be able to accept that I'm not normal and I'm messed up and will never just be normal ever again. So why is it so hard to do that...?
Why I had to end up with this stupid brain that's freaking messed up my life, I'll never know or accept.  |
I feel very similar to you. I hate being on 4 different types of medications. They all make me feel sleepy and sound sleep depending on the time of day. If I have to talk to someone important (in authority) over the telephone I try my best to sound happy, perky, and not talk slowly or sound tired. Makes me feel like I have no intellect when I sound tired and out of it all the time. I have to take my medications for life. I feel as though I am chained to my medications and that they rule my life.
I wish I could be of more support you but all I can offer is that I can relate to what you are experiencing.
