There is pretty much no friendship there, that's been torn apart completely. Its almost like I'm trying to put a single piece of Scotch tape on a torn piece of fabric, where the edges are fringed and frayed. I can't talk to her. I'm not ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready.
Did I mention that I live right across the street from her? She doesn't know it. I think of her, though, every time I drive past her apt. She's married now, I'm single. She's happy, I'm not. She's moved on, I haven't. Why do I hate that she's happy?

I feel like I am getting exactly what I deserve, though. While yes, she hurt me, I hurt her so long ago too. I turned my back on her. I was afraid of change, I was afraid of letting anyone else get close. And All this built up emotion and resentment is the baggage that comes with unforgiveness, I know, but I don't know who I need to forgive first, who I need to forgive more. Her, or myself?