Hi, Parker,
Your insights are always so wise.
Yes, his wife is a lovely person, and he says she also keeps contact with old beaus, going out to dinner, museums, etc. They are both not jealous of the other, but I think it's a solid marriage.
When she left him here at my house, I felt a "flush" of attraction to him, which surprised me. In our correspondence, he acknowledged the same, but I look at it as just good to know I am still capable of feeling something like that...for him or anyone.
He is a judge in the Boston area, and makes legal decisions daily based upon right and wrong, and I know he has a keen sense of that, even in his correspondence to me. We have discussed whether our emails are somehow wrong.
I do actually keep it on a friendly level, and, no, I don't get upset if he doesn't email for a few days. Even my dreams about him, which are recurring thru my adult life, are about letting go, and a feeling of acceptance.
Sure, I could anticipate some sort of romantic interlude during his visit in October, but I won't. During my entire 20 year unhappy marriage, I was never unfaithful. I don't ever intend to commit adultery with a married man. I DO think such a scenario would be my "call," as it seems most men, even the most upright ethical ones could be swayed by a special old flame. It won't happen. What would I be left with if I did allow it. More guilt and anxiety....no thanks. He ain't gonna leave his lovely wife.
We'll have a nice dinner together, time to talk, etc.
Thanks all of you.
Seeker