My name is Bridgett and I'm 23 years old. I've been seeing my T for a year and a half now and she's WONDERFUL!! I've had a couple of T's in the past but not one can measure up to the one I'm seeing now. She's awesome, goes out of her way to make me feel comfortable and relaxed. Whenever I'm upset/angry I can tell her and she says the greatest things. Alot of the times I leave her office feeling like a million bucks!!

You had a safe place and (oddly, to my way of thinking now) felt wonderful leaving there a lot of times.

Anyway, I have a question that I'd like to share with y'all. Yesterday my T and I shared some very personal things that I've been going through lately(My job, my past, my cat being put down, my ex b/f putting me down, etc.). I cried alot

You were extremely vulnerable, watching your self telling your personal story.

and for the first time ever.....I saw her tear up as well. I felt bad at first but realized she is human and has feelings just like we all do. In a way, it felt nice to see that side of her and it just made me open up to her more. When our session ended, I got up and for the first time ever.....she hugged me. And not just a 'you'll be ok' hug...but a real HUGE bear hug. I didn't want to let go....we held each other for about a minute!!

A minute when you are that vulnerable is a long...time and it is time enough for the therapist to gather herself together from her tears and make it a congenial hug, if she is trained-up right and experienced and her intensions are purely therapeutic.

It was in the heat of the moment and I don't know why I did it...but I just grabbed her face, pulled her close to me and gave her a quick peck on the lips....

Kiss, quick or not is probably not okay but not the end of the world either. Your feeling so much emotion and relief at that moment and obviously overstepped yourself in that confusion of care and concern in contrast to how you had been feeling.

and to my surprise....she kissed me back.

but this...this is the line that should be drawn by the therapist and wasn't...note I said by the therapist, but it wasn't.

Then we hugged again and I walked out. It's very hard to describe but what I want to know is...did I cross the line? Did she cross her line by kissing me back? What's going to happen?? Am I in trouble?

Well, this is where I want to tell you something that happened to me. My therapist happened to be Italian, was a man and made life feel particularly fun and exciting for me as a young 19 year old who had just left home for the first time, a vulnerable time at best. I knew I needed therapy and came across him giving a psycology class at our local YWCA. He agreed to talk to me about my issues. I went to his office and well all I know is one day I was standing there with my clothes off. How? Well, he groomed me. He was charismatic and I was vulnerable. All the things you described above, the good feelings, feeling special when I left, etc, he had provided for me. It seems to me there was a kiss at one point (and as I type this out it makes me want to be sick). How was I able to let that happen? It was not my fault and I didn't cause it anymore than I caused the abuse that happened in my childhood.

Even when I told my current therapist, well the one before my current therapist I still couldn't believe it was abuse but it was and for years after I could not go to another therapist, for this reason and some other life complications.

I'm just a mess here wondering what it really meant when she kissed me back and if what I just did by kissing her was totally wrong and unethical.



You have been compromised and it is not right...you felt safe and now you feel confused. I am feeling so worried for you while surrounding myself with my safety and grounding skills. Are you okay? Can you find some things to do that will make you feel safe and secure for the next while? Please write back, if you can, to your new friends here on PC. Keep writing, okay?

Sorry, I am going through so much, I can't even send you a hug. But I am concerned. Please know that things can escalate and stop or delay you from the healing you deserve.



Hunny










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Thanks!!