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Anonymous29311
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Default Oct 24, 2009 at 10:21 AM
 
Since you have an attraction to a schizoid, the big advice I'd give you (as one myself) is: Don't come on too strong. Schizoids naturally recoil from direct advances; we just don't know how to process sudden-onset intimacy.

When it comes to relationships, schizoids are like horses; you have to sidle up to us indirectly and make no sudden moves. Move closer gradually. If we get skittish, stop. Let the schizoid move closer to you; wait, if necessary. Never, ever attempt to saddle and ride however.

Find an outside interest that you can focus on together; schizoids seldom like to be the object of direct attention until they have bonded. A shared interest offers a safe focus, until the schizoid is comfortable in a direct encounter.

No one, and I mean no one, does an authentic 'I-Thou' relationship better than a schizoid. He or she will calmly and deeply accept you when all of society rejects you. You will not have to play games or try to be someone else with a schizoid; in fact, we have little tolerance for phoniness. We have to have authenticity in our selves and relationships because "lies" are somehow intimidating to us.

When I am in a situation where a level of social pretence is required, I panic. Role playing is exhausting and confusing!

So: Don't come on too strong. Go slow and wait for his response if necessary. Focus on a shared interest. Be yourself (seriously). Establish trust. Be prepared to drop all social conventions and pretensions (schizoids just don't have the knack for this).

Good luck

Mike
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Thanks for this!
illogicallogician