|
Oct 24, 2009, 12:19 PM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: So Cal
Posts: 3,342
|
|
You do sound really scared!!
I can tell you that I have my own personal understanding of what you are coping with right now.
I am 33....and I still deal with these types of emotions in regards to my mother.
As a child....my mother and I were VERY close....almost like we were one person. If something happened to her....it was like it happened to me, and vice versa. Therefor, I was constantly trying to fight and win her battles for her....because she wouldn't fight for one reason or another. It was a very unhealthy relationship at the time.
Sweety, do you understand what co-dependent means? If you don't....google co-dependency and do some reading about it. I think it would provide you with some valuable insight that could at least help you understand a little more in depth about what you are experiencing with your mom.
You are a good person....and very smart for checking on your Mom. But hon....you should not have to check on your mom at 2am to see that she's okay!! Do you see how the child/parent roles have been reversed. Instead of Mom nurturing and caring for you...and being the parent....you are nurturing her and being the parent. And then....if Mom is away....you are in the position to parent your sister. This is not healthy or fair for you...or your sister. You both have the right to be children.
It sounds like you and your sister have had to grow up pretty fast. Could you talk with your Granddad and see if he could help you both to find a counselor to talk with. I think this would be very helpful for you. Not because your crazy, or because your messed up....but because you are having to take on so much at such a young age....and they could assist you in understanding and coming out of this a healthier person.
Right now....you are doing what children will do in bad situations. Trying to make up for what the adults aren't giving.
You mentioned your Dad. Would there be an opportunity for you and your sister to stay with him for a while. Would that be a healthier environment for you both...or is he not a safe person?
Just hang on sweety....and know that I am here and I support you....K!!  
__________________
|