You make it sound like I'm some deadbeat pothead of a dad.

1. I use it because it inhibits my normal thought process and I can actually function as a normal human being, which is nice to have a break from my own brain.

2. I don't buy it, my wife gets it for herself for free from a friend

3. Peer pressure. I've told my wife hundreds of times that I want to quit (and have quit after my BP diagnosis up until recently when I got hit with alot of stress), and she still says "You coming outside for one?". It's the only time we have fun. Yes I know it's unhealthy, but I've tried to change it and we end up fighting. She does what she wants to and if I interfere, she takes it as loosing control and will get mad.

4. I'm on lithium - it's good for keeping my from going into a manic state, but I heard it wasn't as effective for controlling depressions, and I've been expecting a depression since the last onset was mania. Here I am.

5. The day I wrote the post I was scheduled to see a psychiatrist, and I got rescheduled for october due to some 'unforseen matter'.

6. I'm a very good dad thanks, I play with him all the time, and have been taking care of him the last 5 or so months. I always make sure he has a walk every day, I take him to the park 3 or 4 days a week, and I've gotten pretty damn good at doing things with one hand while I'm holding him because he wants to be held. And by the way, I'm never stoned around my son. I'm a very good and responsable father, even if I'm down in the dumps.

You were trying to help, but I took offense to it. Assuming your BP as well, you should know that in manic or depressive states of mind, we tend to take offense more easily and frequently. Yes I know pot is bad, but you know, I got a lot of crap on my plate and have very poor coping skills.