Thank you for clarifying - I didn't want to assume I understood.

I am glad you at least have the desire "to move on to better days and better things." Of course, it's terribly frustrating not to have the energy or imagination how to realize that desire, but the fact you can still want it is something.

I'm just groping for a ray of sunshine in your current state, Berries. Unfortunately, my personal experience tells me that a depressive can find all sorts of "bright sides" in their situation and still not feel any better. So, I wish you peace no matter from where or what or whom it comes.