I have been going back and fourth between the possibility of me having and not having OCD. I don’t really seem to have any compulsions. (though I’ve always done things like counted the calories in my food, bite my nail/skin, and at one point was self harming for no reason other then it simple became somewhat of a routine.) But I do have some of what may be obsessive thoughts. It shows up mostly in social situations—I’ll say something to someone and then for days, sometimes weeks or even months after I say it, I think about what I said and how I said it and weather or not I made a complete idiot out of myself. Or if I tell someone something personal about myself all I can think about is how dumb I was. And YEARS (literally) later I STILL replay the situation in my head. And insult myself and feel really…uncomfortable with t the fact that I said something. Even stuff from like second grade. (when I was seven for those of you who don’t know about Americans silly school system) And then when I am walking down the street I often think “OMG what is that person thinking about me?” or “Did they just give me a weird look?” Or if someone says hi to me my head is bombarded with all these insane thoughts about why they might be saying hi. Or if I go out to eat with someone and they say “Where would you like to go, anywhere is fine with me” I never want to answer in fear that I will say the place they don’t want to go. And when I do choose I sit through the whole dinner thinking “omg what if they don’t like it here” and I watch there facial expressions all night to see if they shows sings of not wanting to be there. And when I’m talking to people on AIM and they spell like the whole internet lingo (2 instead of to, n instead of and ETC) I literally can not answer them until I have fixed every single spelling mistake. I don’t know if it’s OCD or something else. But it drives me NUTS.

I also obsess over someone coming into the house at night and shooting me/my family or raping someone ETC. Or sometimes though not as often I worry about what may have gotten in my food. I have checked out OCD links that are often given out though I am still unsure.