Rhapsody, as you already know, boundries are for our safety. Sometimes it is very hard to put up those fences, but they may be needed. For example, I love my parents, and with my dad being elderly, I know he may not have many holidays left. I was supposed to go see them this Christmass (I live out of state for my own safety anyway and emotional boundries). But with the trauma work I am doing, it would not be in my best interest at all. My angry alter has already threatened physical harm to me if I tried to "make" her go. So T said I needed to seriously consider the situation. In my case, I hated to do it, but I made the call to tell the folks that I could not come this Christmas. They were not happy about it. But I have finally learned to put my own health first. It is not being selfish - it is being healthy.

You may have to hold internal "family" or "house" meetings with your alters and ask them honestly about the situation. Then come to a decision on what is in the best interests of all your parts / alters. And then make your stand and draw the boundries where you have to draw them in order to stay safe and mentally healthy.