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Elysium · Oct 25, 2009, 03:15 PM

Hi Sweety...

I haven't commented yet, but wanted to let you know that you have my support.

Personally, I think that a separation wouldn't be uncalled for at this point, if only for the interim. This way, you can feel safe and he can have a chance to get into his anger management class(es) and work on his issues.

One thing I've noticed...You say that he tells you that he will "take anger management classes IF YOU WANT (him) too". He's laying the responsibility on YOU...instead of being a man and doing what he needs to do to prevent this from ever happening again. So...if you say "No Honey, it's okay just don't do it again!!", and he goes and does it again anyway....it is, in a way, his way of saying "you didn't make me go and this is what you get".

I also want to point out a very important fact!!

ANYTHING THAT HURTS THE MOTHER, HURTS THE CHILD!!!

If you think that your Son got away unscathed by this attack on you, you are wrong. Babies can sense violence. They can pick up on the change in someone's tone of voice quite easily and they can pick up on the intensity of situations. Even though your Son wasn't being physically assaulted at that moment...he was still being emotionally assaulted as he was caught in between you and your husband while his Daddy attempted to kill his Mommy!!

He wasn't just strangling his wife....he was strangling the Mother of a child!! While holding the infant in his arms!! He was cutting off your oxygen supply to the point you almost died!! And all the while, he was using his own Son...holding his own Son in his arms because he's a coward...and he knew that just by keeping his Son in his arms that you would not attempt to fight back for two reasons....

1) You were afraid if you fought back that your Son would get hurt in the crossfire.... and

2) You were afraid that if you fought back, your husband would possibly hurt your Son, as a way to hurt you.

You don't realize it...but these are the ideas and thoughts that get planted and programmed in the back of your mind while these things are happening to you.

You don't have to leave him for good....but there is nothing wrong with some separation while he is working his program to get himself healthy. Once he has done this and can demonstrate appropriate behaviors, then you can pick up where you left off.

Know that I support you!!