My "to do " list only grows longer. I have some 50 items on it now... rarely get one thing done any one day. The recent triggering/flashback event is still affecting me.... I'm fatigued, unable to think clearly but for rare spurts, and falling farther into the black pit of depression/despair. At times during the day, I might remember something on the list, and feel overwhelmed. "That" item needs to be done, but then I realize THEY ALL need to be done! I can't seem to get "it" together to perform.

Right about now my T would ask, "What is "it?" wishing me to better define what I'm fighting. I can't get "it" together: not like I want. Never. I'm disabled in that way. When am I going to accept it? I don't know how to. Honest.