What an awful thing to have to "watch". I think sometimes not knowing what truly went on leaves those of us with PTSD with terribly anxious and confusing feelings. Like we NEED to have more information or we'll add the information from our traumatized brains. I felt the same way you did about the arch enemy when you saw his lights on at night but then thought, wait, we have no idea why his lights are on. People say and do the stupidest things when tragedies happen, like what about the lawn. If it helps you at all, recognize that your PTSD is filling in holes and gaps and try not to let the pain of what did happen turn into hate for your neighbors. I'm so sorry you had to have this happen right where you are supposed to feel safest, at your home. Seems like it has made everyone go off kilter. Take care of yourself, first and foremost.