I saw my new therapist on Friday and it wasnt the same. I feel like an idiot for even missing my old therapist, because he was so unbelievably abusive, but I do. I dont think I can trust a new therapist, I think I was right in never trusting anyone and Im really angry because I had a horrible weekend and tonight I get on here to talk about it and some chic had messaged me accusing me of stalking her because I guess in a post I answered her question, so yeah, I really needed that from some random person. Is it at all possible that I could just recieve help and not get handed out abuse from people all the time. I seriously cannot take one more thing. I am completely broken inside, I think my heart is completely gone now. I dont even feel human anymore. I mean I made a therapist hate me and I am such a bad person that even people I dont know want to harrass me!! I need to just delete this accout and stop expecting to get any help from anyone, ever. I certainly need to not try and give anyone any help. Im trying so hard not to cut or drink or go back into any old ways of coping, but im starting to wonder why I should even bother getting better anymore. Sometimes I just wish that when I was raped when I was a child, that he would have just killed me, because everything has pretty much been hell since then.