Dear 1000, ~ I can't know your boyfriend well enough to say much of anything, but he really seems to have some illnesses which often go together - addiction and depression. If this is your first love, you must be fairly young. If you are having to support him, if you have no support for the problems you are having with him, and if you have to return from your daily work to find him eating pills and drinking, where is the time and opporturnity to do something for yourself? I am not speak badly about your boyfriend, as I, too, have addictive and certainly depressive tendencies. But unless there are some tremendous changes in both of you - him for his problems, you for your possible co-dependency, you will end up supporting him and being in this unhappy situation from now on. It doesn't sound like that's what you want. I, too, have been in a situation very, very similar to yours. I know how strong co-dependent love can be, but, as a waitress, I couldn't support my husband forever, and it became obvious that this addiction and depression were killing him. Literally killing him. I couldn't let the situation continue. I can't assume what your best situation would be, but I paid for a one-way, non-negotiable bus ticket to his mother's home in another state, and had police make sure he got on the bus. They did not arrest him or hurt him in any way. This worked for me, because it was in my small home town. It hurt a lot for a time. Then time passed, it stopped hurting, and better opportunities presented themselves. Best of lot to you and to your boyfriend and battling these very realy illnesses. He will have to desire to get well for himself before his efforts will have success. His trying to do it for you will not work. billieJ