The important thing is to congratulate you on your new place. In a few days, all this unpleasantness will be over. So, congratulations, I'm happy for you!

I relate to everything you said. I'm not exactly a neat freak but go all Howard Hughes when it comes to other people's germs. And to live as a permanent guest in someone else's home: ghastly situation!

Some people are more outgoing and less territorial than we are and could make the housemate situation work. Some of us, on the other hand, would be clinically insane within a month. Good for you for doing the responsible thing and taking care of yourself, I say!

Like you, I sometimes have an obsessive horror of hurting someone else's feelings. I will often take the easy route and sacrifice my own comfort before I will openly confront or hurt someone else. Especially if that person has been nice to me, like it sounds like she's been to you. Sorry she's pissed right now, but still. Hooray for you!

Some animals share space well, some do not. It doesn't mean that anything's wrong with you. Sorry the landlady got her feelings hurt, but she sounds like an OK person who deserves a more willing roommate, as opposed to an unwilling one like you. So feel good for her too. Now maybe she'll get the tenant she's 'meant' to have!

And enjoy your new lair!

Mike