(((((((Eskie)))))) Thank you for your words.You have voiced much of what I didn't. I too was thinking about what is under the exterior of this man.
Here on PC we listen to ppl with varying forms of mental illness and pain in their lives. It seems easy to "deal" with someone who has no face or voice and is only a name on a screen. It is very difficult to deal with the RL person with a face a voice and actions we are subject to. I believe it is in the RL that we are challenged.

(((Tomi))))
Not denying your feelings of shock and anger and all that comes with the experience of a traumatic event. By all means you have the right to feel intense personal emotions about what happened.
Other feelings such as hate and and rage toward the neighbor seems to me to be dangerous. Please check them out as these feelings are a toe-hole for the real enemy to scramble your mind and emotions.
Keep your focus.
Breath
Pray
And I will be praying for you also. That your mind become clear and your focus be on Him. That He give you wisdom for today and sight to your heart.