Hi, Briester!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Briester
I feel like I should have been happy when the baby was born and I was glad he was there and healthy but primarily worrying about the fact that should have been happy but wasn't really.
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That's similar to my experience of depression; it robs me of just about all feeling. It's also possible side effects of my med cocktail contribute to "emotional blunting."
Quote:
Originally Posted by Briester
I really wonder about how people get motivated when they dealing with depression.
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I wonder the same thing, even going through it myself.
Looking back on my final couple years of employment, I was running on empty. In hindsight, I managed to function and actually accomplish a few things without any self-confidence and zero motivation. My best guesses as to how I was able to go on involve
- reliance on routine and inertia (and functional dissociation?),
- taking advantage of help, and
- coffee in the mornings (only).
Here's another place Pegasus' journaling idea may help. It might be useful for you to attempt to view yourself from the third person and try to analyze how you actually manage to get through each day. Through trial and error you may be able to expand your "bag of functioning tricks."
Wishing you more success than you think you can attain!
PS: Enjoy your family when they're around. Enjoy the games, too.
__________________
My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.