just want you to know that although the resposes to your post are slow......people do care ..your post was alot to take in......sometimes posts with so much emotion is difficult to respond to.....i know i had to read it a couple of times before i responded.....you are going through one of the most difficult situations in this life..lost love....but you will get through it.....forget the drugs and the alcohol.....keep us informed and if you need to talk....pm me please....