((((Pinksoil)))) I am so sorry that you are entrenched in this depression. I have been, too. For a long time, and from time to time still am. The only thing that enabled me to go forward was medication. It seems like you are that way, too.

When I switch meds (and I have been on more meds than I can count) I also get sui and hopeless thoughts. I didnt look, but have you posted on the med board about the early effects of these particular medications? I have fond that board helpful.

From your story, I do have some hope for your depression with the new medication.

One thing that helped me to keep in mind was that feelings, even depression, were passing feelings, as you noticed when you had the period of time when you had some relief. They pass, like clouds in the sky, until a new emotion comes along.

There is a slogan..."This, too, shall pass." I always found that helpful when I seemed mired in depression and hopelessness.

Please know you have friends here Post often, OK?