Is it at all possible that as a child during abuse you begin to split, but not entirely. Like you dissociate and begin to bring out an alter ( I dont know all the terminology, so forgive me) but instead of alters taking over, they just live inside with you and more or less take over feeling things? I always feel disconnected, like im observing my life and it seems like someone else is in charge of what I say and do. Its more like im trapped inside my head looking out, but Im not the one in charge. does anyone else have this experience?