Amazing how someone else having the courage to ask a question can help me feel a little more OK about my own experiences. I only get that trapped in my head feeling when I connect with my emotional self. Most of the time my thinking, functioning self is very much in charge. Even in therapy I seldom talk about 'my kids' or allow them to 'drive the bus'. They are 3, 6, 8, 12 and two are 15. None of them have names. The 3 year old holds feelings of abandonment/sadness and she cannot speak. The six year old knows only terror. The 8 year old is giggly and playful. The 12 year old is a boy and is all about adventurousness and chivalry. As for the fifteen year old twins, the girl holds all of my worst feeling of despair and self-destructiveness. The boy keeps me safe in the world by holding my anger and being my protector. He is the one who absolutely refuses to wear any women's clothes. So I guess since I always stick to that rule, he is indeed in charge of that aspect all the time.
Thank you for asking your question BohemianPrincess! Not weird at all