I don't think there will ever be the "same old" people in this relationship again. You've both had a life changing experience. You've been hurt by someone you trusted and your security is shattered, your husband has learned that he is capable of using deadly force upon his loved ones.

I wish there was a simple answer to this. Abuse comes in many forms, and even if this scared the hell out of him and he never lays a hand on you again there are other components in this relationship that are extremely unhealthy. No matter what you do, he is responsible for his own actions and vice versa.

I know you're overloaded, I know you're stressed out but if you want to fix this, you have to make it a priority. If this group therapy thing will not work for you, can your husband go on his own? You mention going to school, most campuses have mental health services check with them. Look in the phone book under Lutheran Brotherhood, or there is a Catholic mental health service that whose name escapes me now that offer services on a sliding scale. If nothing else utilize the library. Do it while the memory is fresh, as time goes on we tend to minimize what happened.