Inny, I am very sorry. You've experienced a terrifying trauma. I would imagine that you are still feeling shattered, crushed, devastated, degraded, confused, fearful for yourself and for Sean. Your natural loving tendency is to believe the best of your husband, that he couldn't have done it alone, and so you feel that you must be responsible for his violence in some way.

I'm glad that you have a plan to escape if necessary. Are you sure that that enough? I am also wondering about putting a mutual friend in the middle as a counselor. Can that friend provide professional skill and arm's length objectivity?

Or, on the other hand, could more effort could be devoted to getting professional help?

Are there support groups on other nights? Are actual anger management classes available? Have resources like hospitals, religious and governmental social services been considered?

I appreciate the obstacles you mentioned to him getting the help he needs. Still, the risks are high. There is the risk of a new incident. Also, and very important, there are risks to you of not recovering from the last incident. You could, for example, develop PTSD. What about professional counseling for you? I urge you to consider it.

You might also want to look into "The Cycle of Abuse" online if you aren't already familiar with that. Abusers are often remorseful and try to be extra nice after an incident. His mentioning of divorce, for example, sounds reasonable but puts the burden on you to decide, as Elysium3006 shrewdly pointed out above. Reread that post (#17). How easy, guilt-free is it for you to ask for a divorce? Is he going to do anything significant, anything involving serious commitment and time, if you don't ask for a divorce?

Believe actions, not words.

If overcoming this incident is even possible, it will, at the very least, require many, many actions.

My heart goes out to you and Sean. Above all, please seek healing for yourself and him.