pdoc is the one who is more enthusiastic about me stopping, actually.

i also regularly need to give myself a break from these meds (maybe 4 days every month) because i am allergic to them and they cause hives. when the hives swell up too much and i can't breathe, the meds go on a break or the dosage gets reduced . i'm usually so happy to be able to breathe again that i dont really notice any withdrawl symptoms, lol.

i think going off them for the trip is important, because of the food complications. pdoc also thinks there are other benefits - to assess how i am doing without their help. if i start to get depressed, i can just go back on them again.

i think the problem lies more in me not believing that this happiness will last without the medication, and being anxious as a result. but the only way to find out is to try, an i think it is worth it if i get to know.