Tryingtobeme,

It's obvious you're going through a tremendous amount of pain now. I read your profile and saw your primary concern (sec., etc.) It is an extremely difficult condition to have to face on a day to day basis. You said the only reason you stay is for your son and that's very admirable to have so much love for him. I know you must realize that there are people who don't care nearly as much for their children as you do considering you childhood which I gleamed from your profile and other posts.

From my own experience I have had people leave my life and it's destroyed me. I'm an only child and my mother, my best friend, passed away due to complications from cancer that even though she really knew what was happening, did not even go to the doctor until it was already too late to do anything really for her.

Your fear of people leaving your life can be real but please try to understand that everyone at some point in time has to leave us. We can hold on as tightly as possible but the result is the same. Your therapist must realize you have this fear too even if you don't talk about certain things to him. They are much more aware than many people think. Try to look at it this way, when he does "leave" then it should be a time to celebrate because it will mean YOU no longer NEED his services since you're better and there's nothing else he could do to help. Also try to remember that even though we form tight bonds with T's, they are paid professionals and if for some reason the money stopped coming, they most likely would stop therapy.

On your above note too, you are NOT too much for anyone here. Nobody is forced to read posts or reply but we do so because we care, no matter how difficult it is to believe that at this point in time. Also, I'll speak for myself to say in no way shape or form do I feel you waste my time. I'm sure everyone else would agree with me too. I have found this board and others similar to be full of some of the most compassionate people I've ever not met in person. We all have our reasons for coming here and sharing our time with others we feel could help us or use a bit of love and "good energy."

I'm not one for too much "sappiness" (well maybe I am) but to you and everyone else who have such sweet and wounded souls I want to share this quote with you and know I mean it from the bottom of my heart. We are all related and all hurting whether we admit it or not. You, dear tryingtobeme, are very much cared for and appreciated.