I know I have hidden my depression from everyone when I try a new treatment (medication) because I want to do better. I want that so much and hate to disappoint people. Like right now, we spent so much money on my medical bills. And we cannot go any further in life because of the debt load that I created due to my illness. I just cannot fail, even though I didn't fail. It's just enough is enough. I don't want to give up and don't want people to give up on me.