I understand what you are talking about. I haven't been very social for some time now. I have lost touch with the 2 girls that I've known basically my whole life. That was my own fault. I have been fighting the battle with depression for many years now. There are long periods of time where I barely had the energy to make it through the day. And honestly didn't want to be bothered. I would let calls go to voicemail but rarely returned their calls. And turned down invites to everything. And then when I did feel up to socializing I didn't call either of them. Not that I didn't want to. I just knew I hadn't been even a decent friend to them. I was what I call a "toxic friend". And felt that it would be better for them if I didn't drag them down with all my sucky emotions. There are lots of time that I wish I hadn't pushed them away because I do miss them. I just don't know how to be a friend to anyone anymore. I am stuck in this funk. I know I need to get out and do things that I used to enjoy. It is hard. And even harder since I don't have a friend to hang out with.