Has anyone here had to cope with having a spouse or significant other travelling a lot for work? I am in this situation now, and I am having a really difficult time.

So I've been together with my boyfriend "C" for 3 + years. He has recently taken a job involving extensive travel, both domestic and abroad, at destinations for months at a time. Its a 2 year job committment after a 9 month training period, and it's only 2 months in. The "rules" of the job are unclear and keep changing-- he doesn't necessarily know ahead of time how long he'll be in a certain place, where he's going next, when he's coming back and for how long, etc. His schedule has changed several times since being in his first destination (Chicago).

We are relatively young, ages 25 and 26, have no children together, but we did just move in together before this happened. Or rather, we signed the lease to move in together, then he got this job-- he had already moved in, and I had to move in by myself. I am in a long distance relationship with someone I live with. I live with someone that I've not yet had the experience of living with. Oh, the ironies... Though we aren't married, I hope to one day marry him (and I've always been one to be anti-marriage so that should speak as to how strongly I feel about him)

I'm obviously not having a great time dealing with this-- I'm afraid I'm going to impulsively break up with him in an angry, depressed, suicidal rage. Of course, I miss him and all that, but other factors make this especially difficult. I hate the town/state that I live in. My parents moved here for my dad's work while I was in college, and my "plan" was to move here after college temporarily with them to save money to actually move somewhere I'd like to live. I met C, and by the time I was financially stable enough to be able to move somewhere, I was totally in love, and had absolutely no desire to leave. (The fact that he isn't from here either, and is from closer to my home-state was comforting; he wants to return to that general location once becoming more established in his career.) Well, again, the ironies...I stayed here for him...and he's not even here!

Also, I recently made a job change myself. I realized that I went into my chosen major/field for the wrong reasons and that I didn't like that line of work and wanted to try something different. I don't regret leaving the other job, but I don't like my new job at all, and this is a big source of anxiety for me.

Moreover, I have very few friends. I'm fairly shy to begin with but people here don't seem very receptive to adding new members to their group of friends. (I'm sure it's also that it gets harder to make friends the older you are because you aren't in school anymore.) It's not that people are un-friendly or mean, just seem satisfied to hang out with the same kids they knew in HS or college. I've tried joining things (and not just since C leaving, even before that.) I've taken dance classes, art classes, joined meetup.com. I'm currently taking a jewelry class and a writing class. I have one really close friend that I made since being here....and at the same time as C leaving, she moved to a town an hour away. I do still see her quite often, and my parents too...but this definitely doesn't feel like home. It never really has, and now the person that made it feel like home isn't here.


And of course I have depression issues, abandonment issues, trauma issues, anxiety issues.....urges to self-harm (don't worry won't do it), passive suicidal thoughts (again won't do it). All of which this is bringing up for me strongly. (And going through med changes on top of that.) I feel like I don't exist, if that makes any sense. Very...empty.

Should I break up with him? Suck it up and deal with it for the next 2-3 years? Both are obviously very painful prospects, I think the first being more so.

Not really sure what I'm looking for. Advice from someone that's been through a similar situation? Support? Guidance on coping skills?

Thanks,

<3,
Samantha