(((((((((((shrinkingviolet)))))))))))

;1178046] . My depression paralyzes me and I hate myself for that. [/quote]

That's right your depression paralyzes you. Don't hate yourself for it. It is an illness that isn't your fault. You wouldn't hate yourself if you had cancer or MS, would you? So, please don't hate yourself for having depression. It is a very debilitating disease. You are doing your best! You are achieving things.
Love you. Not hate you.