Quote:
Originally Posted by Fool Zero
If writing the letter were going to be completely easy for you there wouldn't have been much point in doing it in the first place. I figure it's the process of writing it that's important, more than the finished product. Keep hanging out with it and noticing what comes up for you.
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I am noticing that as I write, I get younger and younger and have to "grow up" when I close the laptop. It has happened a few times that I am consciously noticing it now. A young child is writing.
Quote:
A lot of the things you were going to say in the letter you've already discussed with us here, haven't you? You may find that they're all still true for you but you're now encountering some barrier(s) that you'll need to get past in order to say them. Or you may find that something different is true for you now, or that you're not ready to say anything at all yet. I'd recommend (you probably already knew this) that you take what you get.
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The things I wrote in the first letter was more, Why did you do this or that, and specific instances when I felt hurt or wanted more from her. It was long. When I wrote it, more confusion came up. I felt confused as to why someone who I idealized and I thought was doing a good job with me, did these things that were not nice. How could she do this to me? How could she be this way?
This letter is a little bit different. I feel like a young girl who wants her to love me. I feel sadder. I feel more than I did writing the last letter.
I am trusting whatever comes out of me. In the past I might have judged it and thought it was stupid and been embarrassed. Now, I am just letting it flow. It comes from the deepest part of me, and Im OK with that. I think...when I read it to ftt, I'll feel very exposed, Im sure.
