notsohot,
terribly frustrating for sure!

Jmo, but marriage counseling would be a very good idea...if he won't go then go by yourself.

notsohot, you can stop being his mother anytime you want...he isn't going to change and why should he? his needs are taken care and he's not about to give it up...especially without trying to lay a guilt trip on you.
You will have to stand your ground about not doing so much...if he forgets something, tough. He's a grown man and needs to take responsibility for his behavior.

It's so easy to get into the kind of relationship when a spouse becomes a surrogate parent...and it most likely will take counseling to shed light on what happened and how it can be changed...
...if, in fact, you want to have another go at a marriage and not stay in a one-sided relationship.
That might be the first decision you have to make--do you really want to stay with him.

Think about what you want from your marriage, if you are willing to take the steps necessary to have your needs met, and be honest with yourself...

My best wishes for you to work through the disappointments and worries this has brought you...obviously he has his own, but he has to be willing to respect and honor your feelings, too.
I hope the two of you can come to a decision that is fair and healthy for both of you...

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, ok?

In Peace