There's one thing that I know for sure, and that's that I have issues... but what exactly?

I spent 5.5 years thinking I was Bipolar. There is a lot of security and validation in having a name for your pain. Now the shrink says he's not convinced of that diagnosis and has sent me to a DBT clinic, which tells me he thinks I'm borderline, but he denies that diagnosis, just saying "it could help." At my visit with him today, he also prescribed Ritalin saying that ADD traits could be contributing to or causing a lot of my problems.

My mood has been so erratic lately that I really don't know what's going on with me. I can't tell you what I think or what I want because it's all a moving target. Since the 'bipolar' label has been mostly (but not definitively) ripped from me, I feel like I'm scratching, trying to find somewhere I belong, something defined, predictable, and consistent.

Right now I'm just a young woman with a long history of depression, two hospitalizations, and a mile-long list of meds I've tried with varying degrees of success. I might be bipolar. Maybe not. Maybe I'm borderline. Probably not. Am I ADD? Possibly, but not for sure.

When your condition has a recognized name, it is so much more respectable. People know what you're talking about when you refer to it. It's real. It's documented. It exists. It isn't some wimpy cluster of symptoms that can nearly destroy a life without even having a name. It is fairly frustrating and very scary for me to suddenly feel so unsettled, so invalidated, and even deeply distrustful of my own thoughts and decisions.

So, where do I belong? What forum would take me? I don't want to masquerade as something I'm not or be an interloper in a forum where I don't actually fit. Is there a board for people whose issues still haven't been nailed down (if they will ever be)?

Sorry to rant - I'm just having a hard time with this, and I don't know where else to go.

Thanks.