I have got to say that your stronger then what I would be in this situation. Marriage therapy would probably help. In my case I would just stop. He is taking way to much advantage of you, and shows no apperciation for you. If you want to go have fun with your friends, than that is what I would go do. If he wants to be a slob than let him. If you want to work over than go right ahead. Make him wait. He doesn't mind doing it to you. If he gets upset with your new way, just say well I'm your wife, not your mother. I would then tell him that if you need to be treated like this than it's time for you to move back home with mom.