Jen,
It was neither long nor boring, firstly.
I know how difficult it must be and especially with the H word being tossed around as it kind of adds to the stress and anxiety. On occasion I'll have some anger outburst myself and then I really hate myself a few seconds afterwards. I don't throw anything or the like but I tend to raise my voice to an extremely elevated level (ok, I yell) at the smallest of things when I have one of those moods.
Well, I just wanted to say I appreciate seeing your post and feel for you and the anguish you're going through.
I hope today will be a happier day for you.
Be at peace.

Chris