Cathrine,
Thank you so much for sharing your experience... I was a Combat Medic for both of my tours so I know the unique pain of health care in combat, even if you never left the wire the war came to you, in pieces.

I still cry uncontrollably at times i never let my wife see me, i cannot bare the thought of her seeing how weak i am at times. I was ok for a long time after I got back and then I started to have trouble focusing and remembering things. I had a full breakdown over xmas '07 and spent a few days in the VA hospital; I couldn't stand the way She looked at me, the pity and lack of understanding... I think I still resent her a little bit, deep inside, and I'm ashamed. Every day that I feel good I ask myself if I'm getting better or just used to the pain.

To the person who isn't sure if the should use the VA... YES!! you should, they may not have helped me for counseling, but it wasn't because it wasn't avalible, it's because it just didn't work FOR ME, but I know others that it has worked for very well... Also, the counseling isn't the only aspect of VA services, I am getting my Psyc meds through them and having some good progress...so Please look into the VA closely they might not be able to do everything you need but they are a great resource...

To everyone else, thanks for the support!!