I understand your troubles here - my dad is the same way. He says he hates controlling women but then wants his girlfriend or wife to do EVERYTHING for him. He is on his third marriage right now.

I have found that if you flat out tell a guy what he's doing and why you think he's doing it he sees it as a lecture and wont really absorb any information. The best way that I have gotten them to see how much I do is to just simply stop doing it. I'll stop doing the dishes and making dinner and doing all the laundry and eventually I get "why isn't this done?" and I'm like "well I always do it and now I don't you see how much stuff I do around here now?" I did that once and ever since my boyfriend has helped with cleaning, doing the dishes, did laundry the other day, cooks dinner etc... I hate playing games but sometimes that's all they understand sadly.