Thanks for sharing. I'll admit that I was a little bit astonished when I read that you felt you were running out of time, since you're "only" 31. I know that from your perspective that may seem old, but wait until you're about to turn 50, like me. Then, you'll really feel like you're running out (or maybe that you have already run out) of time. I would give almost anything to be 31 again and still facing the majority of my years. You most likely have a lot of time left, if you're like most of us Americans..
Don't give up. Keep your dreams alive because those are what will sustain you no matter what age you are. You may be on the pity pot right now, but that will pass if it's simply just a pity pot. On the other hand, if you're experiencing clinical depression, you can't simply pull yourself out of it. You'll need some help. Go to a live support group for folks with depression and share what's going on with you and how you feel stuck. The group can help you sort through what's really happening with you, your life situation, and your feelings. Also, go talk to a therapist and just lay it all out there- the counselor will be able to help you determine what level of stuckness you're at and will help you cope with it. If nothing else happens right away, at least you will feel that a load has been lifted because you have talked honestly with someone objective who also cares about how you're doing as a fellow human being.