Hopefully you can both get something out of councelling...it does allow each of you to bring out your thoughts with a neutral person to moderate. We tried it when my husband got physically abusive....my Pdoc wouldn't let me go home from the hospital unless we agreed to get help.

Unfortunately, several years later, I am now planning to go with the divorce. I am just exhausted from fleeing from him into my bed with depression. I decided to fight rather than flee & hopefully I can get it all finalized within the next 6 months. He is the one that is going to loose after continually telling me that if I don't like it, I can leave. I don't like it anymore & I am going to leave, forcing the house to be sold because he can no longer pay for it....that will put us into the place where we can divide it all 50/50 as California requires. My psychologist is coaching me on what to do to protect myself now. I am so tired of being pushed into pushing back then being hit & being told that it is my fault for pushing him into it.

It is good that you are determined to make your marriage work....with that attitude, you will be open to compromise. I have put up with crap for 30 years & can no longer tolerate anything anymore. When it becomes non stop fighting with neither person willing to stop, there is nothing more to do....you aren't there & it sounds like you have a marriage that deserves to be worked at to save.

I wish you both the best it keeping your marriage going,
Debbie