(((Planning))) You are not dragging anything on, if we knew each other irl, you would have heard the story a million times already about how my father went in for a pacemaker. The surgeon/cardiologist was not his specialist and did not like being told what to do therefore he installed a pacemaker, but one without a defibulator because they were "for people at risk of dropping dead of a heart attack and that was NOT him". He dropped dead of a heart attack less than two weeks later. It's now been five years and that is STILL a thorn in my side. I'm gratefull he died quickly rather than in inches. Had he survived that last heart attack he would have given up on life because he would have never been able to return to his job, which defined him. Not to mention I firmly believe when it's your time, it's your time.

Right now it's easy to direct your anger and frustration at your niece. She's an easy target. But before you do something you regret, please remember she's grieving as well. It sounds very much like she's on her own with all of these arrangements and she's probably angry about that herself. In life we do the best we can, and sometimes that just has to be good enough.

My mantra is ... grant me the courage to change the things I can, the strength to accept those I cannot, and the wisdom to know the difference.