I hear people saying to me, "you can do whatever you want". Therapists, online friends...

I guess I must be a deadbeat, because I don't do whatever I want.

I don't have a significant other.
I don't have any kids.
I don't have a carrer.
I don't have a volunteer job.
I don't belong to a club.
I don't have any irl friends.
I don't have any prospects.

My life is more than half over. I guess I am just a deadbeat.

I wish people would say, you can't do whatever you want because you have an illness that keeps you from doing certain things. Instead, when they say you can do whatever you want, I feel a shame so deep my soul wants to die.