I'm so sorry that you're in this ackward relationship. I don't even know what I would do in this situation. Being the mother of two adults and two near adults, I hope to continue a close relationship with them for the rest of our lives.

I hope that when they enter a serious relationship that I can be at least civil, for the sake of my child.

Be careful what you request of him. Significant others come and go. You may plan to be with them the rest of your life, but reality is that 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce. Your parents, your children, your siblings, these are the only truly irreplaceable people in my opinion. A person can have an infinate number of spouses but only two parents.

Having said that, I do think it's odd that he chooses to spend so much time away from you. If he spends so much time at his parents house that it actually makes you wonder where he lives, then it doesn't sound (to me) like he's very committed to this relationship. I wonder where he conciders home.