My Support Forums - View Single Post - Here it is..............................................

darkpurplesecrets · Oct 30, 2009, 11:09 PM

Here it is almost 11:30 pm Friday and we are not doing too well. This time is not okay. We are feeling very afraid and memories are flooding within. Trying to breathe but finding it very hard. Crying out in silence wishing someone could hear us yet shutting up so tightly that we can barely write this.

We want to reach out yet something within stops us short. Stops this heart from asking. Nothing really uttering from our lips but within is a raging volume no one can hear. Lost as though we were grains of sand. Reaching out yet finding no one. Crying yet no tears dare to fall.

Sometimes feeling as though we wish it would all stop and we would just disappear. That this time and memories would shut off. Afraid to be here yet needing someone to know we are here. Nothing feels right, nothing. And within trying so hard to find even an ounce of peace. Somewhere.

Our mouth moving in the motion of help yet no sound utters to leave our lips. Screaming from the farthest reaches of our minds yet echoing back nothing. For no one is here. No one can take this from us. Our minds wondering will this ever end?

Sleepless nights, eyes burn from tears that fall silently within, and a heart that is broken in a million pieces. Will it ever be able to be put back together? Will time ever move on or will this nightmare continue. Looking at the clock, we see every hour. Weary from it all----trying to be strong so no one knows.

Can you hear us? Do we make any sense? Hours tick away, the light of day will come. Yet where will our heart be? Tomorrow will come and another fear will rise. Others do not fear this time and we find ourselves alone. Do we dare reach for help? Would anyone hear us? How strong is strong? For our strength is fading.

Hold on another day, but our heart cries and words that fill our mind cannot seem to find their way to this screen. For even though another month comes, does not stop what is gripping our heart. And we cry silently alone except this still small voice----that is fading with every word.

I know others here are feeling many of the same things and our heart goes out to you. But within we are shutting down, finding it hard to push another key.

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