Well, it certainly would be easier if there was a set of set list of rules defining what it means to be a man (or a woman). But there isn’t, and in my opinion, shouldn’t be. This is too personal a question to be answered by someone other than your husband. However, I’m sure that we all have had that feeling that something is missing (as I’m sure the women reading this have). Maybe as you suspect it is children. For me this would be a major hole in my heart, but it may not be for everyone. I’m not surprised he wasn’t able to define it though. Haven’t you ever had that feeling that something is missing, but you can’t define exactly what it is? Like there’s a black hole in your soul, slowly destroying you from the inside but even though you feel it you can’t tell what it is? I know I do. I’ll often times be at home and be consumed by great sadness. But when I try and take an inventory of my life, I can’t pinpoint why. I have a great family, friends, I’ve finally gotten my career on the right track, I don’t have a lot of money but I manage to do what I want, yet the emptiness is there none the less. Sometimes it feels like I’m not a man either. But why? It makes me angry when I can’t say why. Maybe I don’t feel like I’m the man my father is. Maybe it’s that I don’t have mate or children. I don’t really know though, and this just makes it so mush harder to try and correct. How do you solve a problem you can’t define? I just try and keep doing the best I can and hope that things will find a way to work out.

I don’t think showing him that list would help him define it. In fact, I don’t think it would even begin to scratch the surface. I also don’t think it will help for you to take on his insecurities. That’s not a solution. I think all you can do it continue to let him know that you do think he is a wonderful person, that you appreciate all the things he does for you, and that you love him. I’m sure he knows this already but it never hurts to remind someone of this.