(((Kallen...I used the trophy icon for this post b/c YOU DESERVE ONE!!)))))

My first thought was.....wow.....that's quite a full plate you've carried through your life! And look where you are! Taking into consideration all the stages of passing through the life of a very dysfunctional family (me, too)but you so eloquently described how you shifted, folded,and slide to keep YOUR mind straight and focused... BLUE RIBBON, GF!

Everything & every "player" moved & shifted that...yea, life still sucked major league at times (ALOT of times!) I can relate to your younger life....My Father was an alcoholic, physically & sexually abusive & my Mother put on her side-blinders & crawled into a bottle of Valium; my 4 older brothers (who were choir boys at church on Sundays) were all drug-dealers & burgulars in the neighborhood; I tried to look normal, but hey.......what's "normal" anyhow?

It sounded extremely emotionally "mish-mashed" with all family members...some sad & pathetic....yet, Kallen

Look at where you are today; smartly 100 miles from family (nice, "safe distance")two great kids & DH.....yeah, so they're all still alittle "off". But it sounds like you did what you "could do" for them & then you have to just step back, let out a huge sigh.......and let go.........live your life; there are some things can/will never change,unfortunetly. But YOU can & YOU did!

I had to stand back at age 43; my father no longer drinks but has turned into an absolute recluse (he does not have ONE friend...no lie)I think of it as he's "doing time" for all he inflicted on others; Mother is a tough broad who doesn't take %#@&#! from no one, hates taking ANY medications!
2 brothers have committed suicide & the other 2.....they're "different"

Kallen, you deserve great merit for going through what you did & it sounds like as long as you don't feel/take responsibility for anything any of the rest does in life.
You are doing great! no one's pushing the bad stuff off & saying that none of it mattered b/c you know better.

I say you deserve a medal of Valor & a HUGE
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS!!!)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Well done, soldier!

Peace, DAYZEE9