Hi i have been in the same basic situation I never use to hit a rage until i live with my boyfriend of two years he is also Bipolar like myself. Zeprexa seemed to help my rages but it made me extremely hungry and i gained weight on it. ADHD is a disorder that goes hand in hand with the Bipolar they are two seperate co existing disorder i had thought until i read the book manic depression survival guide that ADHD turned into Bipolar but thats not the case. your wife is probably giving up because that is some peoples ways of dealing with the disorder. My mother hangs in there for me but my brother and father have completely written me and my son off he has the ADHD. the other med i have found helpful for my rage is Geodone and alot of positivity around your daughter is going to be the best thing. Talk to her get to understand her let her talk her feelings out to you. Be her stone don't budge. She needs your support and anyone elses that is willing to give it to her. She needs to know your there and you will catch her if she falls. My mom is my stone and my son also is my support team. Maybe take your wife to NAMI support groups let her learn more maybe she will come around and face this head on with you. I wish you luck. I hope i was of help.