There is only one thing keeping me alive and that is my son and husband. I hate my job, hate going out of the house, hate waking up, hate feeling stupid, ugly, being fat.....I hate it.
I am looking for another job, but there is nothing that would have these benefits that are really needed for us. There isn't a whole lot of anything for work here, actually. So many layoffs from HP and other big companies around here is making it hard for those who really need work.

I am so tired of going to work...If I could just hurt myself enough so I wouldn't have to go to work (but get benefits) and could take care of my family, that would be AWESOME, but I know that isn't possible.

I want it to be clear that I am NOT going to be hurting my self in any way, I just feel like it.

*sigh*